Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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