I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
