One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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