Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The adults are the big ones right?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
