My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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