my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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