They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize