awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
