I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
