Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
