tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
its not stalking. its research.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
