Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
