dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
