gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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