college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
