we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
