May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize