Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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