I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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