he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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