They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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