It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
