Ambien. No doubt about it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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