the condom got lost in my hair
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
