Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
