But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
