Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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