I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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