Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
