Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
