the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
