Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
