I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize