i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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