Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
