I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
