I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
ttyl tear gas
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
