I need help removing her.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
