I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
