we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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