You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
so much tequila, so little girl.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize