Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
