don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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