glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
