It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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