You work out of a Hotel?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
