Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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