so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
