I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
