Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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