but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I intend to get homeless drunk
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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