Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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