I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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