She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
