are you still at the devil's house?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
