thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just found a bag of teeth...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
