I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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