Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
