idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
