watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
