That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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