Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
