Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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