We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
