Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
